Saturday, February 11, 2012

Pegalish's advice for the lovelorn

Hello my dearies.

Online dating is quite the little adventure, full of potential pitfalls for you poor lonely men out there. Since I have a giving nature, I've decided to share my advice for all you love seeking little Y chromosomal types. (Well, not just for you, Lyn missed a few of these, and my parents aren't on Facebook, but they do read my blog with great enthusiasm, and the occasional cringe)

Take it in boys, live it, learn it, and invite me to the wedding. Just don't expect a gift, this is it.

Pegs Online Dating Tips:
Online dating tip #1 - it's never a good idea to use the word Creeper as part of your dating handle.

Online dating tip #2 - if you're 47 and say you're looking for a woman between 18-58, you're more than a little creepy. That being said, when choosing an online dating handle, feel free to ignore tip #1.

Online dating tip #3 - posting a picture of yourself balancing 2 beer cans in 1 hand while you smoke a cigarette with the other is probably not going to attract the "Good Christian Woman" your headline says you're so desperately seeking.

Online dating tip #4 - if you go on a date with a woman and YOU are the one who says you'd like to see her again, disappearing off the radar for the next 2 days is NOT the way to let her know you're interested!

Online dating tip #5 - Telling a nurse that you needed to call 911 after looking at her picture will immediately make her start imagining any one of a myriad of cardiovascular disorder you could be suffering from. Not a turn on.

Online dating tip #6 - If she hasn't responded to the first 5 messages you sent her, sending a 6th one telling her about your house, vehicles, and a rough estimate of your adjusted gross income probably won't get a response either. If it does, is she really the kind of woman you want?

Online dating tip #7 - Don't say you're looking for a "good woman". Every man out there is looking for a good woman. Be a little creative - say you're looking for a bowlegged ex con with a glass eye. Narrow down your playing field a little.

Online dating tip #8 - don't say you're a musician if you're not. The picture of you holding your guitar upside down is a dead giveaway.

Online dating tip #9 - For the love of God DO NOT quote the Pina Colada song! Listen to the lyrics, the man is reading the personals in bed, looking to cheat on his partner!

Online dating tip # 10 - One word - PICTURE!

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